Album 0122: Freak Kitchen – Freak Kitchen

Release Date: 1998
Genre: Progressive Metal/Rock


1. We’ve Heard It All Before (03:56)
2. Vaseline Bizniz (04:36)
3. Michael & The Syndrome (03:56)
4. Entertain Me (03:54)
5. My New Haircut (03:25)
6. Broken Food (04:22)
7. Bull (05:06)
8. Mr. Kaschei & The 13 Prostitutes (07:14)
9. Scattered (04:39)
10. Six Dildo Bob & The Bluegrass Samba From Hell (02:19)
11. Tiny Little Second (03:23)
12. Pathetic Aesthetic (04:39)
13. A Regular Guy (04:05)

Total Length: 55:33

We’ve Heard It All Before starts off the album very well. The way Freak Kitchen blends their usual style with an insane, almost Kevin Gilbert-like production and instrumentation is something to marvel at. The lyrics here are biting and the song has its hard and soft moments. Vaseline Bizniz is even meaner and more rocking and I love every moment of it. I adore the instrumentation, especially the bass throughout the song and the banjo in the background of the chorus. Not enough words can be said about this song.

Michael & The Syndrome is interesting at the very least because it’s the only song I know concerning Tourette’s. It’s still a pretty catchy pop song, and the guitar solo is amazing and worth listening to the whole song for. Entertain Me is a bit more laid back but still has some neat social commentary regarding, well, entertainment. Fun song. My New Haircut unabashedly takes another shot at pop songs, by having the most mundane, silly, basic lyrics but I still really like it.

Broken Food is more of a ballad, and it’s very pretty and melancholic. Everything just works well here. Bull makes things heavy again, and while it’s not as notable as some of the previous it still has its moments, like the Caribbean-themed instrumental section and the intro. Mr. Kaschei & The 13 Prostitutes is certainly unique. Lots of cool percussion, a spoken-word story halfway through, devil references, and incredibly cool vocal moments. The story section gets a bit annoying after you’ve heard it a few times, but the rest of song is just so unbelievably good.

Scattered is probably the song on here that just doesn’t really appeal to me. I never think about it or want to listen to it, and the Kenny G-type solo bit is annoying rather than funny or clever. It’s not a terrible song, just of a lesser quality. Six Dildo Bob & The Bluegrass Samba From Hell is just a very fun little track meant to show off all the instruments they used throughout this album. Tiny Little Second is a bit more jazzy and has some neat lyrics and a great piano solo.

Pathetic Aesthetic again reminds me of Kevin Gilbert, and is just a pretty solid song. It doesn’t hit huge high moments but is just good throughout. A Regular Guy has lyrics that get extremely close to being pretentious, but I can respect the idea being presented, as I sympathize a bit. I also love all the little production touches, such as in the percussion flourishes. This album is incredibly strong if maybe a bit front-heavy. I’m actually really disappointed that this is the only album these guys ever tried out these ideas on, as an album of Kascheis would be one of the best things ever written.

Final Rating: 9/10


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